


baby

by truth_seeker_1789



Series: Suptober 2K19 [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adam Milligan Lives, Adam Milligan Out of Lucifer's Cage, Adam Milligan is Saved, Adam Milligan is a Winchester, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Temporary Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Denial of Feelings, Established Relationship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hunter Adam Milligan, Hurt Adam Milligan, Hurt No Comfort, Moving On, POV Adam Milligan, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Poetry, Recovery, Resurrection, Suptober (Supernatural), Suptober 2019 (Supernatural), Temporary Character Death, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 08:31:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21176462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truth_seeker_1789/pseuds/truth_seeker_1789
Summary: adam is fine watching you move on. really. he's fine.





	baby

*

He was fine.

Fine with watching you smile for someone else. Fine with watching your smile grow brighter and brighter. Fine with watching your grief fade away day by day.

He was fine.

Fine with seeing your eyes follow someone else. Fine with seeing hope in your eyes whenever he got too near, only for it to fade away to dishearted disappointment. Fine with seeing how you were slowly learning to smile again without him by your side.

He was fine.

Fine with listening to your voice as you spoke to an empty grave. Fine with listening to your anguish in those nights so reminiscent of your first meeting. Fine with listening to your laughter as you reminisced with old friends.

He was fine.

Fine with watching from a distance. Fine with watching you grow into a better person. Fine with watching those moments when your eyes would darken at his favourite song.

He was fine.

Fine with tolerating Sam's sympathetic stares. Fine with tolerating Dean's outspoken objections. Fine with tolerating their silent judgement.

He was fine.

Fine with his decision to accept his part in this story. Fine with his decision to let you move on without him. Fine with his decision to never involve himself in your life again.

He was fine.

Fine with watching you finally holding the baby you could spoil rotten. Fine with watching you sign the papers to welcome the new life into your world. Fine with watching you finally build the family you had always longed for.

He was fine.

Fine with hearing your child respond to his name. Fine with hearing someone else speaking yours with such devotion. Fine with hearing your voice lovingly praise someone else.

He was fine.

Fine with how your visits to his grave became less and less frequent. Fine with how you took up a volunteer position helping other broken families. Fine with how you still made sure to leave his mother's favourite flowers next to her headstone.

He was fine.

Fine with the knowledge that you were still breathing. Fine with the knowledge that you were still ignorant of the things he fought. Fine with the knowledge that you had found happiness and fulfilment without him.

He was fine.

Fine with knowing that it was too late to tell you the truth. Fine with knowing that you would never know who sent you the fresh fruit baskets for Christmas. Fine with knowing that you would never truly be with him again.

He was fine.

Fine with the knowledge that you were safe. Fine the knowledge that you were trying to better the world in his memory. Fine with the knowledge that he would never truly love someone as much as he cared for you.

He was fine.

He was fine.

He was _fine_.

*

**Author's Note:**

> Why is it that the characters that I want to wrap most in warm blankets end up being the ones I can only produce angst for?
> 
> As an aside: Gmail didn't correctly save my drafts, so this is a complete rewrite based on my memory of the first one. Kind of ticked honestly. This never happened before, so I think I need to find a new platform I can use to write at work.


End file.
